Online users are very angry at an Australian “sexuality educator” who says parents should ask a baby’s permission before changing their diaper.
People online are interested and confused by Deanne Carson’s claim that a “culture of consent” should begin at birth. For example, one person asked if it’s also necessary to get “consent from your cat to change its litter tray.”
Consent is being talked about in places like diaper changes that you might not expect it to be, since parenting styles are changing faster than ever.
It might not make sense to ask a baby for permission before changing a dirty diaper, mostly because newborns and toddlers don’t know how to talk back.
Deanne Carson, on the other hand, says it’s not so much about getting a formal answer as it is about setting clear and respectful limits as soon as possible.
Carson, who on Twitter calls herself a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author,” says that a culture of consent should begin at birth.
She says the goal is to teach kids to accept their bodies and their own choices. Parent can teach their babies about personal agency by describing actions (for example, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?”) and watching their body language.
Building friendship and talking to each other
According to the self-proclaimed expert, this practice isn’t meant to wait for a word “yes,” but to help the parent and child talk to each other.
Carson told the Australian ABC network, “Of course, a baby isn’t going to say, ‘Yes, mom, that’s great, I’d love to have my diaper changed.'” “But if you give that child a chance to respond and wait for body language and eye contact, you show that you care about what they say.”
As a healthy way to communicate, pediatricians and early childhood experts often stress how important it is to react to a baby’s coos, giggles, or movements. Making kids aware of what’s going on and letting them help with the process by requiring consent during diaper changes is in line with this.
“Left crazy”
But not everyone agrees that this is the best or only way to do things. Some say that babies are too young to understand what consent means.
Editor of The Spectator Australia, Rowan Dean, called the idea of asking a baby’s permission to change their diaper “lefty lunacy.”
John Rosemond, a psychologist, writer, and parenting expert, says Carson has “the weirdest and wackiest idea of all time.”
“Once upon a time, and not that long ago, anyone who said parents should ask babies’ permission to change their diapers would be seen as crazy by everyone except that person,” Rosemond writes in the Reno Gazette Journal. “In this strange way, Carson’s ‘culture of consent’ turns into a family culture of chaos, mistrust, denial, and general dysfunction.”
Carson’s comments caused a huge debate online, with many people making fun of her ideas and calling into question her qualifications on social media.
“I’m pretty sure that when a baby is crying because their diaper is too full, that’s consent.” One person online writes, “I would even go so far as to call it a demand.”
A second says, “Someone who calls themselves a “expert” says parents should ask for permission before changing their child’s diaper.” This makes me think she has no experience with kids at all.
After seeing a video on X, a third person on the internet asked, “Do you need to get your cat’s permission to change its litter box?” Not at all. If it smells bad, get rid of it. The same with a child. If it goes wee or pooh, just throw it away!!! Another person says, “Leaving a child in a dirty diaper is illegal and considered child abuse.” Does this crazy person think it’s okay to hurt kids? She is more dangerous than people who want to stop getting shots.
Though, some people jumped to her defense and said Carson meant well, even though the example she used was not.
I’m shocked at the bad response you got to this,” writes one netizen.Toddlers and babies learn to talk long before they can speak. Thanks for letting the trolls start a conversation about this. Respecting someone, even if they’re wrong, what could go wrong?
Another person says, “I think she wants to get kids to talk about consent, but by going too far, she’s made a joke of it.” Babies can’t agree to anything. At any time. They’re little kids! It is believed that they need to be safe and stay alive.
Someone else writes, “I agree with Deanne Carson.” It’s simple to talk to your child. It’s simple to make your home a place where everyone agrees.
People still disagree on this point, but most agree that being aware of and talking to babies is good, even if it’s not exactly about consent.
If you “ask” for permission, it may come down to your parenting style and how comfortable you are with it. For some parents, asking for permission is just one more way to build a respectful, loving connection with their babies. For others, it may be enough to just pay attention, engage, and meet their baby’s needs.
You know Carson said that parents should ask their kids if they can change their diapers. What do you think? Tell us what you think, and then share this story so other people can tell us too!
