I gave my husband a reality check when he insisted on having a second child because our first wasn’t “Aryan” enough.When my husband made the comment that our daughter wasn’t “European” enough, I knew I had to do something. Although I felt like I had gone too far, as I saw his entire world crumble, I devised a strategy to discipline him.I was standing in my living room staring at my husband as though he was someone I didn’t know. My world tilted on its axis as Peter’s words lingered in the space between us.What do you mean that you desire a second child? I asked, trying not to speak too loudly. “Amelia is only a year old, and you haven’t been close to her since her birth.”Peter brushed a hand over his hair, avoiding my intense gaze.
“Well, Nora, all I wanted for her was to turn out like my sister and mother—pale with blue eyes. But she bears no resemblance to my vision at all. My jaw fell. “Are you serious at this moment?” “Maybe our second one would look more… European, you know?”I gave a pointed response. “To be honest, I’m not sure what you’re getting at. Would you mind explaining? Peter shifted nervously. “I’d like to express how honored I am to be Norwegian. I’m scared my family won’t tolerate Amelia’s extreme brownness.Unbelievable things were being told to me. Talking about our baby as if she were a disappointment, even my own husband. I became enraged, and before I knew it, we were engaged in a furious argument.She’s our daughter, Peter! How on earth are you able to think in this manner? I shouted. “I can’t help how I feel,” he sobbed in return. “All I wanted was a child who resembled me!” We were back and forth for what felt like hours. By the time Peter stormed out, slamming the door behind him, I was exhausted and heartbroken. However, as I sat there in the silence, an idea began to occur to me.Grabbing my phone, I made a call to my mom. “Hello, Mom. Can you watch Amelia for a few days? I have a lesson for Peter to follow.” Thankfully, my mum didn’t have a lot of inquiries. She just said, “Of course, honey. Get her over whenever you’re ready. “Mom, thank you,” I groaned. “I swear, I’ll explain everything later.”The next morning, after Peter left for work, I packed up Amelia’s things. As I zipped up her little bag, I couldn’t help but think of Peter’s comments. How could he have missed her perfection?I made my way to my mother’s house with sorrowful heart. When I arrived there, Mom took one look at my face and gave me a hug. “Oh, sweetie,” she said. “What took place?”I sobbed and told her everything at that point. She listened, angry and incredulous. When I was finished, she muttered, “That man.” “I should express my opinions to him.” I said, wiping away my tears, “No, Mom.” “I have a plan in motion. For me, simply keep an eye on Amelia.Amelia nodded and she pulled her in closer. “I’m positive I will. You make the required move.Leaving Amelia was harder than I had anticipated. I kissed her full cheeks and inhaled her sweet newborn smell. “Mommy loves you so much,” I muttered. “Remember that always.” I used the day to get ready for what awaited me when I got home. The sound of Peter’s key in the lock that evening made my heart accelerate. He walked in, frowning at the sudden quiet. “Where is Amelia?” asked Nora. I took a deep breath. “I offered her for adoption.” Peter turned very pale. How come? What subject are you talking about?”Well, you said you wanted a more Nordic-looking child,” I stated firmly. That’s why I thought we could give it another go. Maybe this time we’ll have the blue-eyed, pale-skinned child you’ve always desired. “Are you crazy?” Peter yelled, his eyes wild. “Now, where is she?”Our daughter is missing. Where is she? I observed as the scenario became more realistic. Peter’s legs gave way and he fell onto the couch, his body shivering with weeping. “How are you able to do this?” He died from choking. “I didn’t mean to… I never wanted to… Tears filled my own eyes, and I collapsed to my knees next to him. “What do you think Amelia would think knowing that her father didn’t like the way she looked?” Peter looked at me, a mask of pain on his face. “I really sorry. I’ve been a total fool. I swear I love you, Amelia. I was just, you know, not sure. Scared? Foolish? Both of them?I took a deep breath. Amelia is currently residing with my mom. She feels safe. Peter’s expression of relief was apparent. He cried some more, falling into me. “Oh, God, I’m so very thankful.” I thought I was done with her forever. We sat there on the floor for a long time, crying and talking together. Peter shared his concerns about not being able to connect with Amelia, disappointing his family, and losing touch with his roots. But none of that counts in the end, he said. “She is our child. Oh Nora, how I love her. I find it amazing that I let my silly notions get in the way of it. I nodded while wiping my eyes. “Peter, we need to do better. In consideration of Amelia. Parents that will always love and accept her are what she deserves.”You’re right,” said Peter. Can we go now and get her? Would you kindly? I needed to see her and cuddle her.” We were both lost in our own thoughts as we drove to my mom’s house in silence. When we got there, Peter practically ran to the door. My mother held Amelia while she answered. The moment he saw her, Peter started crying again. He gave her a big hug and held her close. “I’m so sorry, baby girl,” he mumbled. “Daddy really loves you. just the way you are. My mom looked at me like I was crazy. I mouthful “I’ll explain later,” and she nodded, clutching my hand. Over the next two weeks, I had many long and tough conversations with Peter. We talked about who we were, what family really meant, and the kinds of parents we wanted to be.Peter commented, “I never realized how deep my biases ran,” one evening. “I’m embarrassed by my behavior.” I took hold of his hand. The willingness to adapt is what matters most. Peter started looking into my family’s past after learning about the rich history and culture Amelia would acquire from both sides of her family. In order to be able to teach Amelia not only Norwegian but also the original tongue of my family when she grew older, he even enrolled in language classes.It wasn’t all easy. Even now, there were still moments when remembering what Peter had said would make me angry, or when his anxieties would surface. But together, we were able to get past it. One day I came home to find Peter and Amelia sprawled out on the floor, books piled all about them. “What is this whole thing?” I asked. Peter looked up and grinned. “We’re exploring the world! Not just our own culture, but every other unique culture in the globe should be known to Amelia. I could feel the warmth rising in my chest as I watched them converse. This was the kind of father I had always imagined Peter to be.One night, as we stood over Amelia’s cot, watching her sleep, Peter turned to face me. He said, “Thank you,” in a low voice. I asked, “For what purpose?” “For bearing with me and teaching me the value of life’s lessons.” He smiled down at our daughter. “She is flawless, isn’t she?” I felt a sense of serenity wash over me as I placed my head on his shoulder. Yes, I answered. “She is, really,”I saw my spouse gently pat our daughter’s cheek, and it was obvious to me that we still had a long way to go. But for the first time in months, I felt hopeful. Everything was going to work out. All three of us together.How about Peter’s family members? However, that is a story for another time. But let’s just say that when they finally got to see Amelia, they fell in love with her just as quickly as we did. Since love is ultimately blind to color and can only perceive the heart. In the scenario, how would you have handled things?
