Brother Wants to Adopt His Little Sister after Dad’s Death, Finds Out His Wife Is against It

One woman refused to accept her husband’s younger sister when her father passed away since she and her husband had previously decided against having children together.

A man was described as feeling uncomfortable about his little sister’s care in a Reddit post that was twice banned. The original poster (OP) had every intention of doing everything in his power to support her, but his wife had other ideas.

When the OP’s father passed away, his sister had no one to take care of her and the OP and his wife had only been married for two years. The OP is not so much an elder brother as a father figure because his sister is considerably younger than he is.

A man holding a crying young girl | Source: Shutterstock

A young child sobbing while being held by a man | Source: Shutterstock

When the OP’s father died, their younger sister was eleven years old. At that time, the OP and his spouse had not welcomed any children and had no intention of doing so in the future. The issue arose from the couple’s desire to avoid having children.


What Was the Situation With the OP and His Wife?

The OP and his family experienced a serious loss, and they had to make some tough choices while they grieved. But these choices led to unanticipated conflict. The user posted:

Pancreatic cancer claimed my father’s life. My sister has two options: either my uncle [my dad’s brother] takes her in, or I do. When we asked who she wanted, she said she wanted me. The issue is that my spouse and I made the decision not to have children.

Upset young girl resting her head on her hand | Source: Shutterstock

Knowing that this would be a big choice, both men made the choice to let the small girl make her own decisions and choose where she wanted to live. The young girl made the choice to remain with the OP.

But the issue arose when the OP’s wife made it clear that she was against having children and that adopting his sister would imply having a child of their own. The wife contended that she and her husband shouldn’t have to adopt the little girl since her uncle could.

Husband and wife arguing | Source: Shutterstock

The OP stated that he would not force his sister to stay with their uncle because she had indicated a desire to be with him and that he wanted to make sure she recovered well. Their sister had no parents when their father passed away.

The brother of the girl and his wife became very tense over the decision. After some time, though, the OP informed his wife that whether she liked it or not, he would let his sister to live with them. In addition, he threatened to end their marriage if she refused to accept it. They didn’t speak for a while after that.

Man and woman back to back on a couch not talking | Source: Shutterstock

After updating the message, the original poster stated that he and his spouse had discussed it again and had made the decision to part ways. He continued, saying:

You truly are choose your sister above me, she said.

The OP informed his wife that whatever she understood of the circumstances was acceptable and that he didn’t want to speak with her again. He added that at the moment, his sister was his top focus.

A father and daughter hugging | Source: Shutterstock

The OP and his wife had no further communication after that. “I have been living with my sister for one week now,” he added. Being a brother who is somewhat of a father is difficult, but I truly love it.

What Were People Saying?

Regarding the OP’s post, a lot of people had strong opinions. A lot of them agreed that he had done the right thing for his sister and that his wife was being selfish by not welcoming a young girl in need into her house.

A comment left on the OP's post | Source:

Someone else offered some insightful advice: if the original poster or anyone else reading this had kids, they ought to write a will specifying who would raise their kids in the event of their death.

Another person related their story, adding that when their parents passed away, they were taken in by their half-sister, but it was clear they weren’t desired there. When the person was fifteen, they ran away, and neither her husband nor their half-sister reported it.

A comment left on the OP's post | Source:

According to one reply, it was for the best that the OP and his wife parted ways because his sister would find out if she wasn’t welcome. Another individual without children stated that even for them, it would have been unfeasible.

Some defended the wife of the OP, stating that she was aware of her limitations and was unable to provide care for a child experiencing such severe stress. Another remarked that although the OP’s wife did not want to be a mother, raising his sister would force her to do so.

A comment left on the OP's post | Source:

Another stated they would normally support the wife, but they didn’t think it was fair to the OP and his sister because they thought the wife had been immature in thinking the OP was favoring his sister over her.

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