Human Speech That Proves We Are Going Downhill Fast

People who say their faith in humanity has been restored are a common occurrence. It is good news when it happens because it doesn’t happen very often.


But the following short stories illustrate the times we are living in. They are stories that tend to erode rather than build up our faith in others.

The stories that follow will undoubtedly make you laugh. They’re not only ridiculous, but you’ve probably already seen it for yourself, so they might actually be accurate.


1: I handed the cashier a $5 bill as my husband and I entered the McDonald’s driveway through the window.

I also gave her 25c because our transaction cost $4.25.


You gave me too much money, she complained.


In this case, you may just give me a dollar back, I responded. “Yes, I know.”


The manager requested me to repeat my request after she sighed and went to get him.

When I did, he handed me the 25 cents back and apologized, adding, “We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.”

I then received 75 cents in change from the clerk.

Do not misunderstand the staff at MacD’s.


The garage door needed to be fixed.

The technician claimed that one of our issues was that the motor on the opener wasn’t “large” enough.

After giving it some thought, I responded that we had the largest model available at the time, a 1/2 horsepower.

You need a 1/4 horsepower, he remarked, shaking his head.

When I mentioned that 1/2 was bigger than 1/4, he exclaimed, “NOOO, it’s not.” Two is smaller than four.

Since then, we haven’t used that repairman.


I’m a semi-rural person.

We just received a call from a new neighbor asking for the DEER CROSSING sign on our road to be taken down.

The explanation: “Cars are hitting too many deer out here!” I don’t believe they should be crossing here any longer.



My kid placed a taco order at a Mexican fast food restaurant.

She requested “minimal lettuce” from the lady working the counter.

He apologized, but all they had was iceberg lettuce.


During my check-in at the gate at the airport, a worker asked,

Is there anything in your luggage that wasn’t put there on your own?

I responded, “How would I know if it was done without my knowledge?”

That is why we ask, he acknowledged with a smile and a nod.


When it is safe to cross the street, the pedestrian light at the corner beeps.

I was crossing the street with one of my “intellectually challenged” coworkers.

She questioned my knowledge of the beeper’s purpose.

I clarified that a red light indicates anything to blind individuals.

What on earth are blind people doing driving? she retorted, horrified.

She works for the government.


My wife and I were informed that the keys had been locked in the car when we went to a car dealership to pick up our vehicle following a servicing.

When we arrived at the service center, a technician was frantically trying to unlock the driver’s side door.

I instantly grabbed the door handle while standing on the passenger side and found that it was unlocked.

I said to the technician, “Hey, it’s open!”

He replied, “I know.” That side, I already completed.

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